Do I need a blog?
This is my first post. I'm writing because I was reading a few 'vintage mommy blogs' and thinking how much I enjoy the stream-of-conscious processing they afford. And how helpful frequent, low-stakes publishing could be for curing my perfectionism.
I don't really want a public blog, in the sense that this isn't really for anyone but me. And more importantly it isn't even for past or future me. It's really a practice for present me, which is a nice change from my usual optimize-everything approach to work and home life.
I think I need to work on just having goals for the day and working to fit them in, instead of trying to make the optimal routine to get into. There are pretty simple things I want to do: read for pleasure, exercise (run and strength), drink water and eat well. Throw writing in there once my sabbatical is over. Eat family dinner and read to the kids (chapter books), involve them in chores as a normal part of life. None of it is hard, it just gets overwhelming when the day is sort of going off the rails.
Yesterday for example, I kind of wasted away the day while the kids were at camp (in my defense I really needed a rest day). Then I picked them up and they wanted to go to the pool. I said yes, and then acted kind of grumpy about it the whole time, which I regret. It was great on the whole (Joan passed the swim test! deep end here she comes!). But I really despise the constant asking for more and more junk snacks, and then spending money on dinner foods that they do not eat and I end up frustratedly trying to get them to eat.
I really think I need a simpler family/house rule around this so I don't have to make decisions in the moment. Something like 2 snacks only, or $5 each per pool trip or something like that. And then BRING dinner. A snacky dinner is fine! So we aren't fussing over the food part so much and we can all eat healthier. These issues honestly make me not want to go to the pool at all, which is a bummer because it should be fun.